"The Three Truths About Mom Guilt"

A good friend of mine and I were recently texting back and forth about motherhood and she expressed to me how she felt guilty for having two perfectly happy healthy children that she didn't deserve, and basically that she was not doing enough or being enough as their mom. This is a phenomenon known as mom guilt and while I don't have any actual data to back it up, I would venture to say it affects 100% of good moms at some point in their lives as moms. Mom guilt is debilitating, it is what keeps us up at night when we give our kids milk that expires tomorrow or even worse, expired yesterday. We know it is only a matter of time before dysentery sets in and we make the Fox News morning report as "world's worst mom." We toss and turn and lose sleep and check in on our kids, losing the few precious hours of sleep we have, only to find them happy and healthy and asking for more of that same expired milk the next morning. We, of course, would never dream of giving them this potentially deadly milk, so we pour it into our coffee and continue our day.  Mom guilt makes us strive to be and do all that we can for our kids but feel bad when we work too much or not enough, when we are too strict in our rules or not strict enough, and when we can't seem to keep up with our fellow moms. 

There are three ultimate truths that you need to understand when it comes to mom guilt...

The first  is that in order to be afflicted with mom guilt you must already be a good mom. It's a lot like testicular cancer, you can't get it if you don't have testicles. Bad moms don't suffer from mom guilt.  So, rest assured, as you are questioning your choices, losing sleep, and comparing yourself to all of those Pinterest moms out there (no offense meant because I am one of those Pinterest moms) you are already a good mom. 

The second is that you are the right mom for your kids. Seriously let go of some of the guilt and know that no one is more suited for your kids than you, no one can do it better for them than you. Even when you feel like the worst mom in the world, you yelled, you screamed, you let them eat 4 string cheese sticks and a pack of M&Ms for dinner; you are their very best mom for them. I promise.

The last truth of mom guilt is that how you thought it would be and how it actually is will never match up; that doesn't mean that it can't be amazing. Let go of the way you thought it would be and open your eyes to how amazing it is. The truth is that what you always pictured could never compare to what is right in front of you happening every day. In my wildest dreams of parenting I imagined camping trips, and family movie nights, muffin making, and Boy Scouts. What did I have tonight after the screaming toddler dust settled? A 2 1/2 year old who can sing every word of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and is handing me a stack of at least ten stories saying "read these to my couch mommy." I know what he means is read them to me on the couch, and I also know that I never could have imagined this moment no matter how hard I tried. 

Smiles in between stories