To Infinity and Beyond

It really should come as no surprise that Case's whole world surrounds Buzz Lightyear, it is, of course, in his blood. 

You should probably know that growing up I wanted to be a lot of things, clown (in all seriousness here makeup, big shoes, tiny car), doctor, first woman president, firefighter, math teacher, but above all, astronaut. Yes, thank you for noticing it doesn't get much dorkier than that list (I even made up that part about the firefighter to seem cooler than I am).

Actual proof of my inner nerd, and the fact that I have been short my whole life. 

Yes, I wrote an actual letter to NASA

For as long as I can remember my entire life has been focused on the "what" of growing up. In fact some of my earliest memories are surrounding the all too common question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Let me say that I am a Patient Safety Manager, and I can say with 100% certainty that I never answered the question "I want to be a Patient Safety Manager." 

There have been times where I have thought maybe I have sold myself short on my dreams and goals and it wasn't until this past January during an informal job interview that it finally all made sense. I was devastated that I would not be offered my dream job, or at least at the time what I deemed my dream job, so I was interviewing for a second position. The funny part of the whole thing is the job I was so broken up about, I actually was offered, accepted, and am still working in today. But back to the story...the man interviewing me looked me square in the eye and asked me "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I don't know where it came from but I told him simply "I don't really want to be anything, I just want to be a better version of who I am now" he didn't ask me another question, he just smiled and offered me the job on the spot. 

You see it took me 31 years to realize that it doesn't necessarily matter what you become, what matters is who you become. Now I won't argue that there aren't a lot of important jobs out there; we need doctors, nurses, teachers, policemen, scientists, and farmers. 

More than anything what we need is to be authentic versions of ourselves and we can do that in any path we chose, soldier, stay-at-home mom, cashier, secretary, professor, and even Patient Safety Manager. 

I want to encourage Case and Liv in all of their dreams but I never want them to lose sight of the people they are destined to become, I never want them to sacrifice the who for the what. 

 As for the astronaut thing, in Case you were wondering, Curtis came to pick me up for our first motorcycle date (and no, I didn't make that part up, he is definitely the cool half of this couple) and gave me a helmet to wear on the ride. I ended up with the most terrible helmet hair around, surely a space helmet would have done just as much damage if not more, so thankfully after that I have never had to look back and regret not choosing to pursue that path.  

Long after I am gone I feel certain that very few people in this world will remember "what" I was but my hope is they will share stories and smile about who I was.

Is your identity wrapped up in what you are or who you are?